Many co-parents struggle with their mental health, yet due to the lingering stigma people are still reluctant to reach out for support.

Everyone will experience some kind of difficulty with their mental health over their lifetime. You can manage this by identifying your feelings, changing your mindset, finding outlets for expression, and accessing support from loved ones and professionals.

Be proactive about caring for your mental health by becoming self-aware, maintaining healthy habits, making peace with your past, and nurturing people and activities that make you feel good. Prevention is key to stopping problems before they start, and resolving them effectively before they escalate.

• Get to know yourself. Self-awareness is a valuable tool. Imagine that you (your body and mind) are a car, the only one that you’ll ever own in all your days, with no possibility of replacement. Would you drive ahead without first learning how to operate your vehicle? The better you know yourself, the better you can navigate the hills and valleys of your life. Engage in self-reflection (access any of our helpful self-reflections) and seek feedback from professionals and from those who know you best about your true personality, your preferences, your goals, your dreams, your triggers, your strengths, etc. You can even utilize online resources for this purpose; you can find many worksheets and quizzes that can’t be used as the definitive verdict or diagnosis on who you are but could provide some valuable information to investigate further.

• Identify the feeling, and accept it without judgment. Putting a name to what you’re experiencing is sometimes the first step forward. That can be easier said than done, though, especially when you’re feeling different emotions at the same time, or if you’ve suppressed them so much that you’re not used to tapping in to what they really are. If you’re stuck looking for the right words, check out this helpful feelings wheel . You can also consider keeping a journal or log to track your emotions and analyze triggers and trends.

• Help others. Stepping outside of ourselves in service of others can have a therapeutic effect. Consider volunteering for a cause or organization whose mission is near to your heart, or offer to assist a loved one or family member in need, or even commit a random act of kindness.

• Adjust your thinking. What’s happening to or around us doesn’t always impact our mood as much as the stories we tell ourselves in our heads about it. For example, you may critique or insult yourself in your own mind, jump to the worst conclusions without facts, or personalize other people’s actions (for ex.: your ex is curt and frowning when you drop your child off for the weekend, so you immediately tell yourself that he/she must be mad at you). Changing negative thought patterns takes time, but can be the difference between succumbing to the low moments versus overcoming them.

• Do something, even if it’s one small thing. Motivation can be hard to come by when you’re feeling low, but if you can get yourself to take one small step, or check even one thing off your to-do list, you can generate momentum that may pull you out of your funk. Consider trying creative activities such as art, music, writing, etc., and movement activities like exercise, meditation, etc. to express and release pent-up emotions. Or, get outside! This year’s theme for Mental Health Awareness Month, “Look around, look within” shines a light on the significance of our environment on our mental health, and highlights how we can take advantage of the outdoors to improve our mood. (For More Information )

• Allow yourself to be vulnerable and reach out for support. You don’t have to go it alone! Vulnerability is part of being human, so try to push through any discomfort you may feel about asking for help. You can’t be your best self for your child or parenting partner if you’re unwell. Tell friend and family what you’re going through and how they can help, join support groups, seek therapy from a licensed professional, or do all of the above.
  Check out this link from Mental Health America for more ways to find help

• Be kind to yourself. Do your best to treat yourself as you would a friend who was dealing with similar issues. This may mean realigning your priorities to fit your current energy level and capabilities. Take a look at your day-to-day routine and see if there are areas in which you can lessen the load. You could even consider talking to your parenting partner about redistributing child-related responsibilities, if even temporarily. This doesn’t mean that you’re somehow downgrading your performance or not doing a good job when you’re grappling with your mental health; it just means that your goals and expectations may need to be shifted if they’re standing in the way of your functioning. Give yourself permission to be less than perfect!