Custody Exchanges Done Right, Part I: 4 Steps To Execute a Peaceful Transition for your Child

July 20, 2023 by Koh-Parenting Services LLC

July 20th

2023

Divorced-Parents-with-Their-Son-Visiting-Lawyer

Does watching your child go from your care to your ex’s and back again tear at your heart? Custody exchanges are typically an inescapable reality for most co-parents, whether through legal agreement or through an informal schedule worked out between you. There’s no denying that they’re one of the hardest parts about co-parenting, but they’re also one of the most vital to get right. With that in mind, we bring you a two-part series on the topic. In this week’s post, we’re sharing our 4-step process for executing a peaceful transition in your child’s best interest. Read on to learn how to make the most of your precious time together!

Gist

Custody exchanges are a part of life for most co-parenting families.
Custody exchanges can be triggering for parents and children alike and can evoke strong feelings.
Children may display challenging behavior around custody exchange times.
Co-parents can support their children by managing their own feelings first, working as a team, asking about their children’s experience and suggestions for ways to make it better, and prioritizing bonding and connection time.

The Pain of Parting:

Making the decision to have a child- it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside of your body.

This quote captures the experience for us, as parents, to have our children forever in our hearts. It’s instinctual for us to seek physical and emotional closeness to them, and being apart, therefore, can feel uncomfortable to downright painful at times.

Of course, some separations can be normal and necessary events that help kids grow into independent adults (for ex., going to school for the first time, learning to drive a car, moving out for college, etc.). Parents usually experience mixed emotions, like sadness and joy, on these occasions, but they know to expect them as part of the natural progression of life. But the transitions that come along with co-parenting, like shuttling your child back and forth between you and your ex may feel like an unwelcome and uncomfortable change in plans.